


Fresh Starts

by TherapyBard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Autistic Beauregard Lionett, Autistic Caleb Widogast, Awkward Yasha (Critical Role), Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Cults, F/F, F/M, Gay Disaster Beauregard Lionett, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nott | Veth Brenatto Has ADHD, POV Beauregard Lionett, POV Caleb Widogast, POV Nott | Veth Brenatto, Pining, Pining Beauregard Lionett, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, That will get more explicit going forward, Trans Nott | Veth Brenatto, i'll add tags as i go, pining yasha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-27 20:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TherapyBard/pseuds/TherapyBard
Summary: For many, college is a chance to restart and make yourself the person you want to be. You can rebuild yourself and start anew. That was exactly what these 8 planned to do.AKA, I'm doing a college AU. Read it if you like angst, domestic fluff, found family, and more! I'll focus a lot on Caleb in this, but other characters have planned arcs and will get their time to shine.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Caduceus Clay & Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay & Mollymauk Tealeaf, Calianna & Caleb Widogast, Fjord & Beauregard Lionett, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Yasha, Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto
Comments: 16
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Panic attacks, flashbacks, cults, accidental self harm, thoughts of suicide, ableist language directed at oneself.

Veth checked her watch for the fifth time since her last class got out. Yeza’s class ended 30 minutes ago and he still hadn’t made it to their usual meet-up place. She got a text saying “Might be a little late. Sorry” right when he should have left his chem class. She regretted not asking Jester to wait with her. With a sigh, she pulled out her phone to check Twitter. Again. When, shockingly, nothing substantial happened since she last checked five minutes ago, she put it back in her dress’s pocket.

Since she had nothing better to do, she started walking around campus. No one hung out in this section of the university, mostly because it was near the back and had nothing to offer but blank white walls and a shortcut to Veth and Yeza’s new favorite cafe. She pulled her phone back out as she walked.

To Yeza: Where are you? Are you okay? Did your weird lab partner kidnap you?

No response came within 30 seconds. Now she was worried. Before her thoughts could spiral too far, she heard heavy breathing from somewhere ahead of her.. She jogged in the direction of the sound. A man with long ginger hair and worn down clothes sat against the wall hugging his knees. He breathed far too fast and didn’t react to Veth’s presence.

“Fuck,” Veth said. She’d seen panic attacks before, but never from a complete stranger. She didn’t know what this guy needed to calm down. She sat down a safe distance in front of him. “You’re okay. No one else is here. Just try and breathe, alright?” It was unlikely vague platitudes like that would help coming from a complete stranger, but what else was she meant to do?

She sat there completely useless for a good five minutes. She told herself it was a good idea to not leave someone alone when they were freaking out, but it still felt pointless. At least she’d be here to call for help if he passed out. That was something.

His breathing began to slow down eventually, no thanks to Veth. Head still resting against his knees, he said, “You did not have to stay. Thank you. I’m fine now.”

“No problem. Do you need anything? Have someone you need to call and let know you’re alright?” He didn’t respond. “Wanna see my button collection?”

He looked up at that. “Button collection?”

She gasped. Hands shaking with excitement, she pulled out her red button bag. “This is what I have right now. I take buttons I like and put them in this bag. When it fills up, I dump them in my button drawer at home.”

He tentatively opened it up and pulled out her new rainbow one. “Where do you find so many? I wouldn’t even know where to start. Do you buy them?”

“Sometimes. You’d be surprised how many you can find just laying around town on the ground. My friends also know I like them and give them to me when they see a good one. Also, if it’s good enough, I’ll try and take them off people’s backpacks and stuff.” She put a finger to her lips. “That’s a secret.”

He smiled. “Then I am honored you told me.” He grabbed his bag and tried to get up. Veth got to her feet before he could and helped him steady himself. “You are too kind. Thank you.”

“You let me talk to you about buttons. No one does that.”

“It helped distract me, so I suppose it was good for the both of us.” He handed the button bag back. “I should head home now.”

“Do you have someone to go with you? My boyfriend is always exhausted after panic attacks and he says that’s pretty common. I don’t want to help you now and find out a week later you passed out behind the wheel or something.”

“Well, I don’t drive, so you don’t need to worry about that. My apartment is only a short walk from here. I should be fine on my own.”

She pulled a paper and pen out of her backpack. “Here. I’ll give you my number. That way you can call me when you get home and I don’t need to spend the rest of my life worrying you died.”

Once she finished writing, he took the paper. “That isn’t necessary, but if it will help you, I will be sure to message you when I get home.” He walked away.

With that good deed of the day taken care of, she was free to get back to what she was doing before. What was she doing again? Right, Yeza! She pulled out her phone and saw multiple new texts.

From Yeza: I’m so sorry. I’ll explain when I get there. I promise I had a good reason.

From Yeza: I’m here now and you’re gone. What happened?

From Yeza: Are you mad at me? Sorry. Please come back.

She ran back to their meeting place. He leaned against the wall staring at his phone. “I’m here! I’m here!” He looked up at her and sighed in relief.

“Oh, thank god. I was worried you left without me.”

She pulled him into a hug. “I wouldn’t just leave you because you were late.”

“I know, but you weren’t here. I didn’t know what to think.” He pulled out of the hug to look her over. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Well, nothing happened to me. I walked around a bit and found someone having a panic attack. I helped calm him down, talked about my buttons, and he left.”

“Wait, was this a man? White, orange hair, skinny, plain shirt?”

“Yeah! How did you know?”

“I was late because someone ran out of my Chem class freaking out and his lab partner asked me to help look for him. We lost track of time and she told me I should just go. I think you found him.” He pulled out his phone “I’ll text Cali and let her know. She was really worried, thought she did something.”

“Oh, I should’ve known you were doing something good like that.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Now, come on. I’m starving.”

* * *

Beau used to hate working out in the evenings. By that point in the day, she’d already spent all her energy on stupid school and work stuff. She only started going late because the only job she could find at the time had her work the morning shift. She theoretically could have run in the morning, but something told her her boss wouldn’t have appreciated her showing up at his restaurant soaked in sweat. Although, he did end up firing her a month later after she told some rich assholes to fuck off, so it didn’t really matter. Still, the new schedule did have its perks.

One perk’s name was Yasha Nydoorin.

They met in the locker rooms Beau’s first time going to the gym at night. Beau’d thought it’d be a simple transition. Crappy, but simple. She should’ve started each day with the same amount of energy she had before. She would just need to start spending that energy in a different order. Unfortunately, life was never that easy. Half an hour into her workout, she had to sit down and catch her breath.

Beau had been so out of it that she barely noticed the buff woman walking her way. Yasha introduced herself before saying how glad she was to see another woman her age working out at the same time she did. They spent a good while talking before exchanging phone numbers and agreeing to meet up again soon. Long story short, she specifically asked for the morning shift when she finally found a new job.

“Oh, good morning!” Yasha said when she saw Beau come in today. Beau ran over to stretch next to the treadmill Yasha was running on. “How’s your new job?”

“Shitty, but no worse than anything else I’ve done.”

“Sorry about that, but at least you were able to find something, right?”

“Right.” Beau promised herself that she’d do everything she could to keep this one. No more yelling at customers. No more showing up late. She’d be good this time. She couldn’t afford to get fired, for the sake of both her pride and her bank account. Her roommates, Fjord and Jester, didn’t complain when she could barely pay any rent and occasionally needed to borrow money for food. She promised to pay them back. Eventually.

“I’ll let you know if my work ever has an opening. They’re really nice there. I’m sure you could get in if I told them about you.”

Beau got on the treadmill to Yasha’s left. “If I can’t handle fast food customers, there’s no way I could deal with people looking for flowers. _Oh no! This rose has 11 petals instead of twelve. Now my wedding will be ruined._ ”

“I’ve never heard that one before, but I see what you mean. Most people only get flowers for special occasions and they want them to be perfect.”

“I can guarantee you nothing has ever been ruined because the flowers weren’t right.” Beau huffed. Some people just care way too much about the dumbest things. “I don’t think anyone but you could possibly have the patience to deal with that shit.”

“The owner deals with the troublemakers most of the time. And it’s actually peaceful most days. You should stop by sometime.”

“Come on, look at me. I’d stick out like a sore thumb.”

“No, you’d be okay. Lots of different people shop for flowers. And there’s this good cafe right by it. We could go there after.”

In all honesty, Beau started to like the idea of seeing Yasha at work. She was the epitome of a gentle giant. She stood taller than most men she knew and had more muscles than any man she knew. Even so, Yasha spoke softly and took time out of her day to admire things like kittens and flowers. Beau would say she’d never hurt a fly, but she once saw Yasha deck a dude that was trying to peek into the girl’s locker room. How could beau possibly turn down a chance to watch a woman like that in her natural environment?

“Sure, it’s a da- A DEAL. It’s a deal. I’ll stop by and you can buy me some coffee.”

Yasha smiled. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

* * *

Caleb knew he could’ve just skipped his chemistry class today. The professor said so herself. “We’re going to be doing an experiment involving fire next class. I know fire can be an issue for it, so I won’t penalize you for missing it. Just use our online resources and fill out the writeup position.” Caleb dismissed this initially. He wasn’t so broken that he couldn’t handle one small Bunsen burner flame.

He’d forgotten how beautiful fire could be. The way the orange light flickered around, giving off a nice aura of heat. The way that heat could and would spread as far as it could touch. They way it consumed life in order to fuel itself, no malice, no feeling. What comforted and gave life could take it away just as easily. If Caleb or Calianna bump the table one too many times, that may be it for them. For everyone. Maybe they already did. Is that why the flame got so bright? He couldn’t breath. Couldn’t think. Burning. Everything’s burning again. The flame died and he heard a voice. The words didn’t matter. Nothing did. Why was he here? Why did he live? Why?

The next thing Caleb knew, he was on the ground outside with a short woman with brown skin and a yellow dress kneeling in front of him. It was the most embarrassed Caleb had felt in a long while.

That night, Caleb laid in his bed starting at his ceiling. How could one flame do this to him? He’d been doing so well since.. since… since the change. He had a job, went to school, was ahead in classwork, no one at school thought he was crazy, and he hadn’t thought about his past in months. Now he could think of little else.

He tried to force his focus back on that woman who helped him. Thankfully, he’d realized giving a stranger his real phone number was a bad idea, so he called her on his building’s phone in the lobby. She sounded genuinely relieved he made it home okay. What was it to her? She herself said that if he died on the way home she probably wouldn’t even know. Why get so invested in his survival.

He wasn’t even invested in his survival.

Okay, that was a bad thought. Worse than the other ones. He’d read a while ago that thinking about one’s death and one’s desire for it could easily transition to being actively suicidal. Caleb didn’t want to be suicidal. He decided a while ago that he had to live and he wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way of that, especially not himself.

He got out of bed and made his way outside to clear his head. Maybe the cool air could help his skin not feel like it was burning off. He ran down the steps outside, eyes dazed from exhaustion, and collided with something solid. That something managed to catch his arm and keep them both from crashing to the ground. “Woah there. Are you okay?”

Caleb shook out of his grasp and leaned against the railing. He can’t have a panic attack in front of a stranger. No matter what, he can’t do that twice in the same fucking day. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” He tried to make eye contact with the man. That was what normal people did, right? He had to be normal. Don’t cause a scene.

“That’s alright,” The man said. Caleb wanted to look at his eyes and be fucking normal for five seconds so this conversation could end, but everything was so overwhelming and he just wanted to sit down and… Did this man have pink hair? Yeah, he did. It was long and braided and very, very pink. That’s… rare. “Oh, do you like it? I dyed it a couple days ago.”

“It suits you, yeah.” Caleb swallowed. “I’m just going to go.” He walked past the man to the bottom of the stairs.

“Wait!” Shit, this wasn’t over yet. Caleb reluctantly turned to face him again. “I’m sorry to intrude, but you seem a little frazzled. Are you trying to get somewhere? I can take you if you’d like.”

“No, I just wanted some air. Sleep is… hard sometimes.”

“Ah, that’s fair. I get that sometimes. I’d understand if you’d rather I left you alone, but if you want some help with that, I’ve got some tea back home that really helps out with that. Or maybe you’d just like some company?”

“I’m okay, thank you. You… need not worry yourself with me.”

“Alrighty then. Take care.”

Caleb watched until the man entered the building before letting himself collapse to the ground. He sat against the wall and attempted to catch his breath. This wasn’t helping. Why was nothing helping? He should be fine now. He survived, had a year to recover, had a job, had an apartment, went to school, and everyone who could mean him harm is either dead or imprisoned.

Or are they?

No no no no no. Not that thought. Not again. If Ikithon escaped, he’d know about it. He would. He’d have to. They promised that if anything like that happened he’d be the first to know and they’d do everything they could to protect him. Every time he got paranoid and checked online, nothing was ever wrong. Instead he just got the same old articles he’d read hundreds of times before. It only made things worse to check. He can’t check. They promised to protect him.

But Ikithon promised to protect him, too. People can lie. Lying is so easy, especially when you’re as stupid and gullible and naïve as Caleb is.

He put Trent Ikithon’s name into Google.

_Cult Leader Charged with Kidnapping, Arson, Terrorism, and More_

_Hundreds Left Dead in the Wake of this Previously Unknown Cult_

_Who is Trent Ikithon and How Did He Get Away With This For So Long?_

_The Children of Cults: Victims or Criminals?_

Caleb tossed the phone away from himself and screamed. Why? Why did he do this? So long without thinking about him. About this. No. No no no. Stop it. Stop thinking. Please. Images flashed through his head. Fire. Scars. Blood.

“Stop it!”

“You’re alright, friend. Everything’s okay.” Who… Who was talking? What? Caleb forced his eyes okay. The man with pink hair from earlier knelt in front of him. He smiled “There we go. Can you hear me now?” Caleb nodded. “Good. Is there someone I can call to help you? Forgive me, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone and I know police aren’t always the best with this sort of thing.”

Help? Why did he need help? He…. He felt warm liquid drip down his arms. He looked at them and, yep, he’d been scratching them again. Fuck. This man probably thought he was this crazy person that needed people to take care of him all the time. The worst part was, Caleb couldn’t say for certain he disagreed with that assessment.

“I don’t have anyone,” Caleb mumbled. He could barely hear his own voice, so he had no idea how much of that the other many got.

Even if he couldn’t make out the words, the man’s frown made it clear he understood the meaning. “Well I… I can’t leave you like this. I’m not good with this stuff. My friend would be way better at this than I am.” He took a second to consider his options. “Will you come back to my apartment with me? I can make you some tea and take care of your arms.”

“You don’t need to do that. I’m not… I didn’t want to hurt myself or anything.”

“That’s good to hear, but you still look like you’re a little out of it. I won’t make you stay the night or do anything you don’t want to do. I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try and make sure you're alright.”

Once again, a stranger decided it was worth their time and energy to worry about his well being. He wanted to say no, but the words got caught in his throat. He couldn’t be alone with his thoughts. Not right now. He just needed to get to sleep so his brain could reset. If this man decided it was his job to help him out with that, how could he say no?

Caleb nodded and took the stranger’s hand when he offered it. They made their way back into the building together. Caleb promised himself he’d make it up to this man for his kindness later. When he could forget again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Reference to past attempted sexual assault, vague discussion of ptsd symptoms.  
> Just to give you some context for everyone's ages:  
> Beau, Veth, and Caleb are 18 years old. Jester and Fjord are 19. Yasha is 20, Molly is 24, and Caduceus is 26.

Molly opened the door to his apartment fully ready to relax and finally get the chance to sleep in the next morning. What he was not ready for was to see his roommate up at midnight doing dishes.

“Cad, I admire your dedication to keeping that tea set of yours clean, but what are you doing?”

Caduceus looked up from the sink and put a finger to his lips. Why does he need Molly to be quiet? It’s not like- Holy shit, there’s a man sleeping on his couch. The ginger stranger laid on his side with Caduceus’s floral blanket pulled up to his neck.

Molly took a second to process this before walking over to the sink. “What happened? Who is that guy?”

Caduceus shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he lives somewhere in our building. I saw when I got home today. He didn’t seem like he was doing well so I offered him some tea.”

“What do you mean not doing well?”

“He was… freaking out, for lack of a better term. Started screaming and scratching at his arms. I think he was having a flashback or something like that. I did the things you told me about and he came back eventually. Then I invited him here.” He frowned. “That was okay, right?”

Molly sighed. “Listen, I am perfectly fine with you bringing people home, gods know I do that to you all the time, but you can’t just take people that are in a bad place and have them wake up in a strangers house. He might not remember last night and think he got kidnapped or something. We don’t know the kind of help he needs. We need to get him to someone who knows him and knows how to help.”

“He said he doesn’t have anyone. We talked some while he was drinking tea and I think he just had a bad day. I know having him sleep here may not have been the best idea, but I didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t have anyone else and I don’t know what apartment he’s in. You said I shouldn’t call 911 for mentally ill people unless I have no other options and he calmed down quickly enough.”

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know what else I would’ve done in your shoes.” He opened the fridge and pulled out an energy drink.

“What are you doing? It’s almost midnight?”

“Someone’s gotta make sure he doesn’t wake up and freak out again. You said he was hurting himself, right? Best not leave him alone then.”

Caduceus put the newly-clean tea cup in their cabinet. “Yeah, that’s probably a good plan.” He took the drink from Molly’s hand. “But you should sleep. This was my idea and I didn’t think it through.”

“And I just said I would’ve done the same thing.” He took the drink back. “I have tomorrow off. You need to leave early tomorrow and open up the shop. No one wants you showing up to work sleep deprived. I’ll have most of the day to sleep this off.”

“Okay, that makes sense. I’m very sorry about this. I know you wanted to relax and-”

Molly shook his head. “Don’t you worry about this. I can relax with a stranger on my couch. I’ve done it loads of times. Now you go rest your sweet little head.” He picked up his current art project from the counter. “I’ve got a grown man to babysit.”

Caduceus thanked him and walked to his room. Molly sat down on his purple recliner. He’d barely started his most recent drawing, so he wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing yet, but was pretty sure he’d figure it out within the next 7-8 hours he had until this guy woke up. It did have a lot of pink so far. Maybe he’d been thinking about Caduceus when he started this. Either way, unless he wanted to sell it to him or his family, he should probably make it something else. Fey realm-like setting with a pink river? That might be good.

Hours passed as he worked. At some point, he started adding lots of animals, primarily a cat and an owl sitting at the bank of his pink river. He didn’t know when the idea to make this fey realm animal-centric popped into his head, but he decided to just go with it.

He began adding clouds to his magenta sky when a phone alarm went off. It was the stranger’s. Molly hurried to put his art pad on the coffee table and sit as non-threateningly as possible. The man reached out to turn off the alarm, though the phone was just out of reach. His senses seemed to catch up to him as he ripped the blanket off and started frantically looking at his surroundings.

“You’re alright, darling. Take a breath.”

The man’s eyes locked on him. The panic slipped from his face almost immediately, replaced by an eerily blank expression. “Right, I… I fell asleep here. I didn’t mean to. I…” He grabbed his phone to turn off the alarm. “Sorry. I set that before everything that happened.”

That went better than Molly had expected. He supposed it helped that the man and Caduceus could talk before he fell asleep. Molly would have a lot more explaining to do if the man had been dissociating the entire time and didn’t remember anything. “That’s fine. Though why do you have an alarm set for,” he checked his watch, “5:30 am on a Saturday?”

“Work. I like to read before I need to get ready and…” He stood up and put his phone in his pocket. His hands shook as he did so. “I should go. I need to do things before I leave for work today and-”

“You had a real bad day yesterday. I’m sure your boss would understand if you missed a day. Why don’t you call in and let yourself relax a bit?” The man’s eyes widened. “I’m not telling you to stay here. You’re welcome to, but you can leave if you aren’t comfortable.”

“No, I can’t afford to skip work. I won’t abuse your kindness anymore, either. Thank you for this.”

“You aren’t abusing anything. Cad wanted to help you out and I wanna make sure my new friend doesn’t run himself into the ground.”

“Friends? I don’t even know your name. Listen, I’m very thankful to you and your friend for letting me stay, but you don’t need to worry for me.”

Molly stood up and held out his hand. “The name’s Molly. As long as you aren’t an asshole, and I’m pretty sure you’re not, feel free to come over any time. We’re friendly people and would love the company.”

The man shook his hand. “Caleb Widogast. I won’t be taking you up on that offer, but I will find a way to thank you for this later.”

“Oh, you don’t need to-”

Caleb let go before Molly could finish the sentence and left the apartment.

* * *

Fjord had learned to appreciate his freetime over the years. Sure, too much free time could make him feel antsy, but he certainly didn’t feel the need to fill his days with social engagements and part time jobs. He could content himself with spending his weekends relaxing on the couch with his girlfriend. Her, on the other hand…

“What about this book club?” Jester said. The two of them cuddled while watching some silly trivia show. Fjord half paid attention as Jester scrolled through her phone looking at various clubs their college offered.

“A book club?”

“Yeah! They just started this romance book that looks really cute. Now's the perfect time to join!”

“I have never once seen you willingly read a book.”

She pouted “Are you saying I’m not smart enough to join a book club?”

“What? No, of course not.”

She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. “I know, I was joking. Sorry. You’re right, I don’t really read a lot, but this book looks like fun. Plus, I know you like reading.”

“Yes, I do, but not as part of a club. I read what I want at my own pace. I don’t want someone to pick a book for me and then we meet up and have this whole discussion about it. That’s not fun for me.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll find something else.”

“No, you already found something you like. There was that one drawing thing.”

“I don’t want to do it if you aren’t there. It’d be boring without anyone I know.”

“Everyone likes you. I bet you’d be friends with all of them in no time.”

“Yeah, of course I would. I’m great at that. But I don’t want to do something without you. I love spending time with you.”

He sighed. God, how could he say no to her when she’s being this sweet about it? “Jester, I-”

“No, no, I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you feel guilty or anything. That was real shitty of me.”

“You aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“But I am! You just looked so sad right there. I’m sorry. I love hanging out with you like this and stuff. That’s enough. I don’t wanna pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”

“How about this? We drop the club talk for now, enjoy this free time together before we eventually need to give in and do our homework, and walk about this later. You can keep looking and come up with whatever clubs you think we might both like. I promise to genuinely consider it.”

“Okay.” She booped him on the nose. “If I can’t find something in a week, I won’t bring it up again and I’ll join the art club.”

“It’s a deal.” He pulled her in for a kiss.

“I swear to God, you two are the purest, healthiest relationship I’ve ever seen. It’s fucking disgusting.”

Fjord jumped at the sound of Beau’s voice. Jester chucked and cuddled into his chest.

“Good to hear you’re awake, Beau. It’s only, what, 6pm?” Fjord said.

“Oh, shut up, man. It’s only 5.”

“That’s still a long time to sleep,” Jester said.

“I didn’t just wake up. I did some other stuff.”

Jester let go of Fjord and climbed onto her knees to look over the back of the couch at Beau. “Like wha- Woah!”

Fjord turned around to see whatever made Jester freak out. He didn’t see what the big deal was at first. Beau wore her hair in her normal style- shaved sides, tied back in a high ponytail. Her outfit wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen her in before, though it was neater than he was used to her clothes being. And she wore a necklace Fjord remembered her mom made her wear for graduation. And… was that makeup?

“Ooooooh! Are you going on a date?” Jester asked.

“What? No, what makes you say that?”

“You’re wearing my makeup. You never wear makeup. You say it makes you want to tear your face off and you don’t know why anyone would torture themselves with it.”

“I still don’t get that and do actively want to tear my eyelashes out, but that doesn’t mean I’m going on a date. I’m visiting a friend at work.”

Jester perked up. “Which friend?”

“The one at my gym. She works at a follower shop and I didn’t want to embarrass her by standing out too much.”

“I’m pretty sure there isn’t a dress code outside every flower shop saying you need to wear makeup in order to enter,” Fjord said.

“Yeah, well, whatever.” Beau grabbed her jacket off the counter in the kitchen. “You two can have whatever weird conspiracy theories you want. I need to make sure I get there before Yasha gets off work.” She walked past them and out the door.

“Have fun on your date!” Jester called out right before the door closed. She sat back down on the couch regularly. “Do you think we should follow her and spy on her date?”

“As much as I am curious about whatever the fuck that is, I don’t really feel like pissing her off. Plus, she doesn’t go on dates often. I wouldn’t want to ruin this for her.”

“Ugh, I both love and hate how good you are. Maybe Veth wants to come.”

“She has the weekend with Yeza, remember?” Both Veth and Yeza still lived at home with their parents. Because of this, they rarely got to spend long periods of time with just the two of them. Yeza’s parents had to go out of town for a few days, which meant Veth could spend the whole weekend at his place uninterrupted.

“Oh, right. I shouldn’t mess with that.” She sighed and cuddled back into Fjord’s side. “I’m happy that we get to hang out together all the time.”

Fjord kissed her on the head. “Me too.”

* * *

Today had been good. Yasha took care of most of her schoolwork before coming into work today. Barely anyone came in today and Nila took care of most of them. Instead of working out front, she did inventory in the back. That was probably for the best, since she now felt as if she could faint at any moment.

Beau was coming to see her at work. Yasha hadn’t actually thought she’d want to do it. They’d just been gym friends for months and spending time together outside of that was a big step. It changed their whole dynamic. Yes, Yasha missed having friends like that, and yes, she’d gotten lonely since she moved for college and didn’t have other friends, but it was still a lot. Yasha was very out of practice. What do women even do when they’re just hanging out like that? She hadn’t done anything like this since Zuala and…

Wow, she hadn’t thought of that name for a long time. Best not to start now.

“Yasha, you’re friend’s here!” Nila called from the front of the store.

“Okay, I’ll be right there!” Yasha ran over to the mirror. Why did she think it was a good idea to invite Beau to her work? She did her best to finger-brush her hair and make it presentable, but it was still too frizzy and her eyeshadow needed some touching up and this uniform did not look good on her. Whatever, nothing she could do now.

She walked out of the employee’s only section as calmly as she could bring herself to. Beau leaned causally against the check-out desk. She wore a dark blue tank top, dark ripped jeans, and black boots. “Hello, Beau.”

Beau did a lazy wave. “Sup.”

“You look… It’s weird to see you in something other than workout clothes.”

“Yeah, probably is.” Beau drummed her fingers against the desk. “This place is nice.”

“Oh, that’s all Nila, not me.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” Nila said, taking her usual spot behind the desk. “Now, are you here to do some shopping or just waiting for your friend to get off work?”

“Nah, I’m not really a flower person. No offence or anything.”

Nila smiled. “None taken. I know not everyone is going to be as fascinated by them as I am.” She turned her gaze towards Yasha. “Now, why don’t you go ahead and leave early.”

“Oh, um, if you’re sure, thank you.”

“Of course. It’s been slow and I wouldn’t want to make your friend wait.”

Yasha went to the back to pick up her stuff, taking a second to put on some much needed deodorant. When she came back out, she couldn’t help but notice Beau started blushing. That was rare from her to say the least. Beau saw Yasha and immediately turned to walk to the door. “Let’s go, I’m starving.” The knowing smile Nila gave Yasha made her just as eager to get out of there.

Yasha walked Beau over to the Cafe a couple stores to the left of Nila’s. “‘Moonlight Delights’. Weird for a coffee place to focus on night stuff,” Beau said.

For the first time, Yasha realized it may seem odd to take someone to a cafe this time of day. “Maybe, but they stay open later than any other coffee shop nearby and have other things without caffeine.” Yasha held the door open. “After you.”

Beau took a second to gawk at the interior. The pink and purple walls were covered in beautiful drawings and various plants. Each table had a unique pattern engraved into the wood, most with a tarot card theme. The ceiling was painted to look like the night sky.

“This is… different,” Beau eventually said.

“Yeah, I like it. It’s very relaxing after work.”

They made their way over to the counter. The server smiled at them. “Hello, what would you-”

“Yasha!” a voice called out from the back of the store. Mollymauk came out front with that same cocky grin he always had. “I’ll take this one, darling,” he said to the server. She smiled and let him take her place at the register. “I see you’ve got a friend this time. Very nice of you to bring in a new customer.”

“Well, I see where the purple comes from,” Beau said, looking at his dyed purple hair. “Where’s Pink?”

“Just got off, unfortunately. Keep coming by and you’ll probably meet him eventually.”

“Mollymauk, this is Beau. Beau, this is Mollymauk.”

“Molly for my friends, which includes you, Yasha.” He leaned against the counter and looked Beau right in the eyes. “Did you know that our friend right here is the best, most badass, amazing woman on Earth?”

“I… Um-”

“You wanna know what she did for me?”

“Sure.”

“About a year ago, I’d just gone through a really messy breakup. Decided to go to a bar and get way too drunk. Then this dude started talking to me and the next thing I know, I was outside ready to get into his car. I barely knew what was going on at that point, but even then I knew this wasn’t good. Our girl Yasha saw me trying to get the guy off me and knew these weak ass noodle arms weren’t doing shit. She came over, realized I definitely wasn’t interested in leaving with him, and punched him right in the face. She got me back to her car, helped me sober up enough to give her my address, and took me home.” He turned his gaze to Yasha. “That’s more than enough to give you and your friend nickname privileges.”

Part of Yasha didn't like hearing Molly talk about such a potentially traumatic moment so casually, but she assumed it was some sort of empowerment thing for him. It in no way defined who he was as a person and he had no reason to feel shame over it. Overall, she was just happy Molly was alright. He'd been a good friend to her over the past year, always giving her half-off coffee and giving her a place to stay when her apartment felt too lonely.

“Thank you, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal,” Yasha said.

“Lots of people would see that and ignore it,” Beau said. “It’s really cool that you did that.” She looked at Molly. “And it’s really fucked up that that almost happened. Sorry.”

“No, no sorries. The only person who has any reason to be sorry is that asshole. And maybe that bartender should’ve stopped me before I got that mind-numbingly drunk, but that’s besides the point.” He got off the counter. “Now, what do ya want? I assume you want the usual, but how about our new friend?”

“I’ll have what she’s having.” Beau thought for a second. “Unless it has nuts.”

“Ah, you allergic?”

“Nah, I just hate them.”

“Fair enough.” He put their order into the cash register. “Alrighty then. I’ll have that out for you both in a few minutes. Go ahead and take a seat.”

They sat down at the table inspired by the Strength Arcana. A lion and a woman were in the center of the table, surrounded by infinity signs, flowers, and the roman numeral for 8. “What’s up with this engraving?”

“Molly’s real into Tarot cards. He might give you a reading if you ask.”

“I don’t really buy into that stuff.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he does either, but it’s still fun.”

Molly personally delivered the food to their table. Two mint teas and two blueberry muffins. “Oh, that’s good,” Beau said after taking a bite.

“Very good. Caduceus makes them fresh every day.”

“Caduceus?”

“Pink.”

“Ah.” She took a sip of the tea. “Wow. Not normally my thing, but I like it. Thanks for taking me here.”

Yasha felt a shocking amount of pride when she said that. “Of course. Any time.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Negative self talk, vague reference to accidental self-harm, mild ablest language,

Next Monday, Caleb’s alarm went off at 6am. He got up and dedicated the next hour to reading. Another alarm went off at 7 to let him know it was time to eat. He had a piece of peanut butter toast before getting ready for his first class of the day. He walked there and made it in time for class to start at 8. He designed his schedule so that he would have back to back classes from 8 to 4 most days, with an hour long break at one point to eat and study in the library.

He got to his last class of the day, chemistry, five minutes before class started. Just enough time to find a seat in the lecture hall and get everything he needed out on his desk. This worked most days, but the plan didn’t account for the professor asking to speak to him, as she did today.

He, of course, complied with her request and joined her in the front of the room. He should’ve realized this would happen. Of course she’d want to talk to him after the scene he caused at the lab. Maybe he should’ve not come in until the last second. Then she would’ve had time to talk to him and he could’ve slipped out the second class ended.

Oh well, there was nothing he could do now. He did his best to keep his expression neutral as the professor spoke. “Good afternoon, Mr. Widogast. How’s your day been?”

“Is this about last class?” Caleb knew most people liked small talk and would find it rude that he refused to engage with it, but he really just wanted to get this over with. Say what needed to be said so he could never think about it again.

“Yes, actually. I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I am. Thank you.”

“Good, good. You worried me, as well as some of the other students. Next time, please just miss the lesson. I’m very accommodating and won’t hold it against you. I’d much rather you skip than cause a ruckus like you did on Friday.”

Caleb felt his cheeks heat up at that. He was so stupid. How could he let one flame mess him up like that? “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“Of course. Now, go take a seat.” She looked over his shoulder. “It looks like your friend is calling for you.”

He turned around. Calianna sat near the front row and waved for him to go over there. He preferred to sit in the back and avoid talking to people, but she left him very little choice. He didn’t want to be an inconvenience  _ and  _ rude.

He took the seat next to her. “Hello, Calianna.”

“Hi! I hope I didn’t do anything to upset you last Friday. I’m glad Veth was able to help you, but I still feel really bad about it. I should’ve done something to help the second I realized you weren’t feeling well.”

“You did nothing wrong, it was just my brain being silly. I… Wait, Veth? Is that the name of the woman who helped me?”

“Yeah, her boyfriend told me about it. I was so relieved to hear you were okay.”

“Oh, good.” He started rummaging through his bag. “I had no idea how I would get this to her, so I am glad to have someone who can pass this on.” He pulled out a clear back filled with buttons. He’d devoted most of Sunday’s reading/study time to going around finding quality buttons for the nice woman who helped him.

“Wow, that was so sweet of you. I’m sure she’ll like it. I don’t really see her all that often, her boyfriend is in this class. Maybe-” The professor started trying to gather the class’s attention. “I’ll introduce you to him after class.” Caleb didn’t like the idea of meeting yet another new person, but figured he had very little say in the matter. Not if he wanted to get these buttons to Veth and put this all behind him.

Class went by far faster than Caleb would have liked it to. The next thing he knew, Calianna was introducing him to a short man with brown hair, freckles, and big glasses. His name was Yeza, apparently. “It’s good to meet you,” Caleb said before handing him the bag of buttons. “This is for Veth.”

He took the bag. “Thank you. That was very nice of you. I felt bad when Cali and I couldn’t find you. It’s sort of funny that Veth managed to and she wasn’t even trying.”

“You were looking for me?”

“Yeah,” Calianna said. “I was worried and Yeza offered to help.”

“Thank you, then. I didn’t know.” Great. Two more people he had to make this up to before he could forget it ever happened. He knew Calianna liked fantasy books, but what could he do for this stranger? He didn’t even know where to start.

“Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t that big of a deal.” Yeza put the buttons away in his book bag. “How do you two feel about today’s lesson.”

Alarms went off in Caleb’s head. Now there’s small talk going on and Caleb didn’t know how to leave without being rude. He’d already done what he needed to do, so it should’ve been time to leave. Now he can’t without interrupting them and coming off as an asshole. Well, he was an asshole, but he didn’t want others to think of him as one. He decided to let Calianna and Yeza talk back and forth until they realized he was still there and… dismiss him? That wasn’t the right word but it was all he could think of at that moment. God, he hated dealing with people.

“I’m normally good with this subject, but for some reason I’m not getting this lesson,” Yeza said at some point during their exchange. Wait, that’s something Caleb could do for him!

“I could help you with that before next class,” he said.

Yeza jumped as if he’d forgotten Caleb was there. He probably had. “Oh, thank you! That’d be great. If we’re meeting up, can Veth come too? I think she’s been wanting to see you again and she’ll probably wanna thank you in person for the buttons.”

She wanted to see him again? “She does not need to thank me for it, but she can come if she’d like.”

“Great!” He pulled out his phone. “Let’s exchange numbers so we can pick a time and place later.”

Caleb reluctantly agreed and used this as an excuse to remove himself from the conversation. While a social arrangement was not his preferred method of giving back for the trouble he caused others, it was all he could do in this situation. He’d just have to make do.

* * *

“I’ve already talked to him about this book club, the art club, this music appreciation club thing. He doesn’t want to do anything,” Jester told Veth. The two of them sat together waiting for their friends to join them. Fjord and Beau’s class didn’t get out for another twenty minutes, but they expected Yeza to get there soon.

“Then you should stop trying. If he’s not into it now, making him join one isn’t going to fix that. And him being there all grumpy is just gonna ruin it for you.”

“He told me he’d actually think about it and I believe him. He’s a really good guy and I like him a lot. I don’t want this to become a big thing or anything.”

“I hope things work out then. If not, that art club you showed me does look like fun. I’d join with you.”

“Ooo, yeah, that’d be fun!” In all honesty, Jester mostly wanted to join a club to help Fjord break out of his shell a bit, but if that didn’t work out then there was nothing she could do about it. Might as well have some fun with her bestie. “Would Yeza wanna come with?”

“I don’t know. He's just so busy all the time with his school stuff. Last weekend was great, but his classes give him so much work.”

“He’s trying to become a doctor, right?”

“Pharmacist, but yeah, it’s a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of him and am very happy he’s doing what he wants to do, but his professors are dicks.”

“Right? It’s like they don’t know what a weekend is. Like, excuse me, how are we supposed to have fun if you give us all this shit to do?”

“Weekends are for hanging out with friends, dates, and maybe a couple hours of school work at most.”

“Dates!” Jester sat up straighter. “I forgot to tell you! Beau had a date Saturday!”

“Oh, good for her!”

“Well, she said it wasn’t a date, but it totally was.”

“Of course, this is Beau. It’d be weird if she did just say it was a date. So, do you know who she went out with?”

“Her gym friend. I’ve never met her before.”

“What, you don’t even have a name?” Veth asked. Jester shook her head. “That’s not good. How are we supposed to know if she’s good enough for her?”

“I know, right? I tried scrolling through my text to see if Beau ever said her gym friend’s name before and didn’t find anything.”

“You know what this means?”

“Detective Duo?”

“Detective Duo.”

They high-fived as Jester saw Yeza coming up from behind them. “Hi, Yeza! What’s up?”

“I’m okay. Veth, I have something for you.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a bag of buttons.

“Oh my God!” Veth pulled Yeza into a hug. “That’s so many! Where did you find them?”

“I didn’t. Caleb, the guy from my chem class, told me to give this to you.”

“Really?” She opened the bag to look through it. Most of them were solid color buttons, nothing Veth would freak out over normally, but Jester knew she kept every button friends gave her. “You don’t have that class again until Friday, right? I’ll have to go with you so I can thank him.”

“Wait, who is he?” Jester asked.

“I helped him after a panic attack last week. I talked about my buttons and I guess he remembered. I hope it didn’t take too long for him to find these.”

“You can ask him later.” Yeza said. “He offered to help me with our assignment and said you can come.”

“Oh, can I come, too? I’ve never been in a study group before. Well, unless doing work with Fjord counts but that’s just the two of us.”

“I can ask him, but I don’t know how good he is around people. He might prefer it if it’s just us.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” She knew how important it was to respect boundaries when it came to people with anxiety issues. She grew up with her mother, after all. God, she missed her. Since school was so far away and her mama couldn’t leave home, they rarely got to see each other. Maybe she should visit this weekend. That’d be nice.

* * *

Caduceus left the cafe at around 5 today, but that didn’t mean he had the rest of his Monday afternoon off. He fully intended to spend the rest of the day trying out new recipes he’d been considering. He spent most of his free time yesterday going to stores and buying new ingredients. He could start with his new tea idea, or maybe that nice egg dish?

A bang halted his planning. He turned around and saw an envelope get slipped under his door. He found that ominous, to say the least. He walked over to the door, stepping softly so the sound would not scare off the deliverer.

He opened the door. The stranger from last Friday sat on the ground, placing a white box next to the door. He flinched and hurried to stand up.

“Hello. It’s Caleb, right?”

“Yes, I’m…” He blushed and avoided eye contact. “I had hoped I wouldn’t make too much noise. I underestimated how much sound dropping my bag would cause.”

“What’s it you’re trying to do?” Caduceus bent down to pick up the envelope and white box. It was a box of Chamomile tea bags.

“I wanted to make it up to you. I didn’t have time to shop until Sunday and I thought someone might be home by the time I was done.” Caduceus opened the envelope and found 30 dollars inside. “I don’t know what kind of tea you made me, but it helped me sleep and I know Chamomile also has that effect. I also looked up average rent for an apartment in this building and gave you 1/30 of it.”

“Huh…” In a way, Caduceus found this more concerning than anything he saw last Friday. Well, besides the scratching. That was the aftermath of a very stressful day, while this was a sign that Caleb had a harmful mindset in everyday life. He tried to imagine feeling the need to meticulously make up for every nice thing someone did for him. Is Caleb just not used to people being kind to him, or is this a behavior he was taught? Either option was alarming. Neither were discussions Caduceus could have with a stranger.

“Well, it’s not as if there was someone who was supposed to sleep on our couch and you took their spot, so the rent is hardly necessary.” He handed the envelope back to Caleb, who accepted it was a confused expression. “And, thank you, but we have plenty of tea here. You should keep the Chamomile and see if it can help you sleep better in the future.”

“Okay.” He started fidgeting with the arms of his sleeves. “I would still like to find a way to thank you.”

“You already have. You said the words ‘thank you’. That’s all you need as far as I’m concerned.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I… Can I do anything for you?”

“You can come inside if you’d like. It’s a little awkward to have this conversation in my doorway.”

“I can do that, yeah.” Caleb picked up his bag and walked past Caduceus into the apartment. He stared at the ingredients on the counter. “Did I interrupt something?”

“I was going to test out ideas for my cafe. Do you wanna help out with the baking?”

His posture relaxed as he said, “Yes, I can do that. I’ll wash my hands.”

Caduceus felt proud for thinking of this. Caleb could stop feeling from if he owed them and hopefully have fun in the process. Some people stress bake, right? He certainly found it relaxing. Hopefully it would have a similar effect on Caleb.

He started preparing to make his new cupcake idea. It should be simple with lots of small things for Caleb to do. They got to work. Caleb followed every instruction to a T and didn’t seem to feel the need to fill the silence, both qualities he admired in a baking partner. Caleb relaxed as they worked, even going as far as to smile a couple of times when Caduceus said he did a good job. They finished far quicker than Caduceus would have on his own.

He put the batches in the oven and set the timer. “What’s next?” Caleb asked.

Ordinarily, Caduceus would’ve spent this time working on other things as he waited for the cupcakes to finish. He didn’t want to overwhelm Caleb with the process and pull him into everything else he planned to do today, so he decided to hold off for now. Always time for that later. “I already made the frosting yesterday, so we just have to wait for them to cook.”

“Oh, okay.” The tension came back to Caleb’s shoulders. “I… I can go then, if you don’t need me anymore.”

“I’d be rude to kick someone out before they had a change to try the cupcakes they just helped make, but you’re free to leave if you wish.”

He nodded and took a seat on the couch. Caduceus joined him. “Is this your first time baking?” he asked.

“No, I don’t… I haven’t done anything like that for a while. I liked it. I can see why you would make a profession out of it.”

Caduceus smiled. “I’m sure my younger self would be very happy to see me today. I have a good job with a good partner.”

“Oh, you and Molly are together, then?”

“ _ Business _ partner.”

Caleb blushed and looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make assumptions.”

“That’s alright. We get the question all the time. Molly is rather flamboyant and I dye my hair pink. In many circles, that would be a reasonable assumption. I’m not really into that, though.”

“Me neither. Relationships, I mean. For now. I’m not ace or anything. Ace is the right word, right?” He spoke faster as he went on, fingers drumming against his legs.

“I think you mean aromantic in this context, but I know what you mean. I actually am aromantic and ace.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to imply there’s anything wrong with that. That wasn’t why I got defensive. It might sound like that but that’s just-”

“You’re alright, Caleb. Take a breath.”

Caleb nodded and did as instructed. “I’m sorry. I’m not good at talking to people.”

“That’s fine. In all honesty, I don’t think anyone is. Some people think they are, but that’s only because they’re with people that talk the same as them. Put them in front of someone outside of their normal audience and they’ll fumble. There’s no such thing as being good at talking.”

“Maybe, but I’m… I’ve had less experience lately than most people.”

“And yet here you are, talking to me. I think you’re doing well. I’ve liked spending time with you. If you’re needing experience, you’re welcome here anytime.”

He smiled shyly. “Thank you. You are very kind.”

“You make it easy to be kind.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked this. As always, I greatly appreciate comments. This is my first time doing something like this, so I'm very open to some constructive criticism. I'm honestly really worried to post this since I have no idea if people will like it. I'm excited for it, so I hope others are, too.
> 
> I'm going to try and update every Thursday before the new episode airs.


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